We have all known someone in our lives who has been bullied. Whether it has been our child, our siblings, ourselves, or even our co-workers. Bullying does not stop on the playground that is only where it starts. Children for centuries have found it easy to target one another and elevate themselves by degrading others. It can start with lunch money, a shove on the playground, or a rumor spread through the school. But it can have disastrous effects. Bullying makes a child feel invisible; it makes them feel unloved, unnecessary, and vulnerable. Bullying can make a good child become sullen, sulky, scared, and stand-offish. It can rip apart friendships, families, and lives. Bullying is not just a child being a child. It is mean, spiteful, and malicious. We need to teach our children that bullying does not need to happen.
Bullying is a widespread and serious problem that can happen anywhere. It is not a phase children have to go through, it is not “just messing around”, and it is not something to grow out of. Bullying can cause serious and lasting harm.
Although definitions of bullying vary, most agree that bullying involves:
•Imbalance of Power: people who bully use their power to control or harm and the people being bullied may have a hard time defending themselves
•Intent to Cause Harm: actions done by accident are not bullying; the person bullying has a goal to cause harm
•Repetition: incidents of bullying happen to the same the person over and over by the same person or group
Everyone can help prevent and stop bullying. Adults have the responsibility to protect and be a role model for kids, teens, and young adults.
No matter who you are or who you represent, you can influence lives and maybe even save a life.
Everyone needs to be aware not only about the warning signs and effects of bullying, but also about the ways to intervene and support both the person being bullied and the one bullying others.
Bullying is often a sign of other serious antisocial violent behavior. Bullies are more likely to be underachievers in school, engage in criminal activities as adults, and become abusive spouses. Putting a stop to this early can prevent the potential violence he or she may partake in down the line.
Parents, educators and other adults should take bullying and social aggression seriously. While some degree of teasing is common among children, bullying often gets out of hand and should not be tolerated. Children that experience bullying might develop anxiety and depression and might skip school to avoid bullies. A child that bullies others might think his behavior is acceptable and as he gets older, engage in more serious aggressive behavior.
Teach children appropriate anger management, stress management and communication skills. Education in these areas should begin at a young age. Some children master these skills easily, while others need extra help.
Teach children how to respond if someone bullies them. Children should attempt to ignore the behavior. If that doesn’t work, they can tell the bully to stop. They should not call the bully names or engage in a physical altercation. They should walk away from a confrontation and seek help from an adult.
Intervene if you see a child bullying another child. Tell the bully it is not acceptable to bully other children. Redirect the bully into more a more appropriate activity. Provide comfort as necessary to the children that were victims of bullying.
Encourage children to develop friendships with other children because children that hang out with a group of friends are less likely to be bullied by others. Some children possess better social skills than others. Some children might need training in social skills so they can make friends more easily.
Encourage schools to develop and implement an anti-bullying program. The program should include training for all school staff on how to address bullying and education for students about how to respond to bullying. Schools should provide plenty of supervision for children during times bullying occurs the most, such as lunchtime, recess, in the bathrooms and on the school bus.