Against this background it is outrageous that men’s ongoing violence against women and children is not even mentioned in the prime minister’s “tough on crime” bill.

It’s a month of reflection; a month for all of us to consider the effects of gender-based violence for women in our society, for their children, loved ones, and co-workers, and, indeed, for our community.

Intimate partner abuse is not about love or anger or the result of alcohol or drugs: it is about power and about controlling the other partner.

And unfortunately, it’s tragically common.

Whether we have proof or not, most of us know a woman or child in our circle of family, friends, or co-workers who we suspect is being abused.

No one is immune or protected. Gender-based violence affects women of all ages, socioeconomic status, educational level, cultural background and race.

this story is the same a hundred of the same pattern

This subject hits close to home, lived it, endured it and survived it. Thinking it was all my fault, thought it was the way it was supposed to be. Thought others lived the same.

But years later, the recorder still goes off in my head, when someone rises there arm or hand too quickly, I still react by ducking. Loud noises remind me of gunshots and set me on edge. Yelling and screaming, do amazing things to me. Touching my neck even though you’re playing, remembering getting choked till I couldn’t breathe.

This man damaged my life, mentally and physically abused me, he manipulated me, wanted me to be who he wanted me to be, not allowing me to be me. Not to wear make-up, not to have friends, not to go anywhere, timed when I did, he knew how long it took to go to the store, get his beer and be back, don’t be late he would say, you know what will happen, he didn’t want me to have a life accept him and my children.

It has taken me years to quit looking over my shoulder, and not to look at the time to make sure I was getting home on time.

Pregnant with his son, which claimed at birth not to be his, then he raped me and I was pregnant again with my third child he wanted me to abort the baby I flat out refused, and he had nothing to say about the baby the whole nine months I was pregnant, being pregnant didn’t stop him from being a abuser. When my baby came home she was suddenly his pride and joy, go figure.

This is what really helped me decide to move to another state and taking the children, left in the middle of the night with my mom and dad would came to get us. Thinking the mental abuse was over, he couldn’t haunt me, he would be so far away.

Life took some time to get use too, looking over my shoulder, worrying about the children, at school, worried all the time.

As the nation raised its flu alert to the highest “Red” level on Oct. 4, the ministry also halted the mandatory training for reserve forces and ordered almost 660,000 enlisted soldiers to stay at their barracks.

Meeting visitors, going and sleeping off-base are not allowed in principle, although the first and last regular vacations are still permitted. Individual decisions are to be made flexibly by commanding officers, ministry officials said. It was the first time in Korea that such a confinement measure has affected the entire army.

Since the announcement, the ministry’s online bulletin board, which had less than 10 comments a day previously, has been filled with more than 200 petitions related to the confinement decision.

Introducing himself as a father of two sons, both of whom are in the service now, Kim Hong-bae wrote that the measure had already demoralized young soldiers.

Military officials say soldiers inoculated with the flu vaccine will be able to take vacations from January. However, those due to end their military service around that time would not be included, they said.

Yoon Hae-jin, a student studying in the United States, fears that she will not be able to see her boyfriend during the winter vacation.

“I plan to visit him halfway across the world. The confinement measure seems too harsh for young soldiers. Please consider the feelings of their parents and girlfriends,” she said.

Some people questioned the effectiveness of the somewhat extreme measure.

Despite the growing complaints, the ministry has not yet issued an official reaction.

“In order to protect soldiers from the new flu, the suspension measure was unavoidable. Their vacations are not denied but postponed,” said an official of the Defense Ministry.

“Each military unit is developing other programs to boost the morale of soldiers. We hope the public will be understanding for the time being.”

As of yesterday, the nation’s death toll from the disease was 49. No fatality case has occurred in the army, while some 1,500 soldiers with mild symptoms have recovered.